Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

The Book That Saved Me

by Haystack Creatives LLC

When I was a little girl growing up in Wichita, Kansas, the sights, and glamor of the red carpet with my favorite celebrities donning their designer dresses inspired to be the best in our
drama class. Time and again, I will tell myself that I shall strut on that red carpet one day in an all-black Azzedine Alaia low-back dress embedded with crystals. At 18, I packed my bags, said my goodbyes to my mom and dad, and hopped on to the next greyhound bus for Hollywood.

Los Angeles is such a vibrant city and moving here has always been a dream. The moment I stepped out of the bus, I felt that I belong, and dreams will turn to reality. Of course, not all that come to Hollywood made it to the big screen. Some will become single mothers, raising two children, and working at Ralph’s Deli. Yes, it is me.

My first 3 years in Hollywood was full of hopes and strong drive to reach for my dream. After 3 years of unsuccessful auditions and go-sees, I slowly accepted the fact that I am not destined to be a star; and the all-black Azzedine Alaia turned into an all-black shirt and pants with matching apron. Skipping the ugly details, I fell in love with a man, had a baby with him, and we broke up after endless nights of arguments. Fast forward to 2 years, I met another man and had a baby boy with him; then, I left him because I did not want my children to be dragged down with his easy-go-lucky life of drugs, alcohol, and more drugs. My boys are now my priority and I love them more than anything.

Raising two boys is a struggle with the low pay, and no child support from their dads. I was confused whether to give up or to fight for my boys. I was depressed, but do not know if I have the time to be depressed. My Hollywood dream is after all a nightmare. The saving grace is a book. I found this book online, and I got intrigued by the title, so I got a copy and started reading it. The book is “MOM…LET’S TALK” by JEANNE SCHAEBERLE. Every page brings a smile and sometimes tears. Learn from Jeanne Schaeberle as she shares tips on how to renew oneself and start anew.


1. Disconnect to Connect

In her book, Schaeberle focused on valuing the little happy moments with family. Sometimes, we become too engrossed with our goals and career that we neglect andcherish the little laughter with our kids. Schaeberle made me appreciate those funny drawings of my boys and their naughty tricks. I thought, I should enjoy this now because one day, my boys will grow up to be men, and my tiny home will be an empty net. Hence, it is just right that we disconnect with things that occupy our time, our thoughts, and our efforts in order to connect with our family and ourselves.

2. Learn to Look Back

“MOM…LET’S TALK” also made me think about my mom and dad. It made me feel guilty about leaving them and not finding the time to call them and check on them. After an awfully long time, I got to call my parents and talking to them healed some wounds and made me feel much better. Reconnecting with our parents and acknowledging what they have done for us is an intense renewing process. It made me remember that I am not alone in this world, and that there are people who love me and care for me.

3. Be Contented

“Be Contented” is the best realization that I have after reading the book. Sometimes, we think that we are only chasing after our dreams; yet we are actually being greedy and only think of ourselves when achieving our goals. The universe has a way of giving us what we need but because we are blinded by our greed, we do not see and appreciate these things that are right in front of us. I have always hated my ex-husbands and regretted having children because I thought that they hindered me from getting that Hollywood dream to be in the silver screen. However, the book showed me
that my life is already complete with my boys.



4. Learn to Forgive

Learn to forgive, although may be difficult, we need to learn how to forgive, especially ourselves. For all the things that have gone wrong, we always blame ourselves. It istime that we stop blaming ourselves and accept that things happen because they are destined to happen. Forgive ourselves, forgive all those who wronged us, forgive those who have forgotten us, and this will surely lighten up the burden.


“MOM…LET’S TALK” may be just a simple and cute book of children’s art pieces, but the book
has saved me and made me realize how precious are the moments that you spend with your
children while they are still young, made me appreciate my parents, and taught me how to
forgive and be contented.

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